I sit for hours listening to people trying to make sense of their love-life. Very often, they reflect back and wonder, “what was I thinking?” or “I should have known better” as if good rational thought is the key to stave off heartbreak. Personally, I was exactly the same, but have learned that these questions are our attempt to deal with the sting of a relationship’s end. It’s funny though how we often transform feelings of loss into feelings that we “failed” or was failed by another. It seems as humans we need to make sense and learn from experience and deflect pain. We ask our head to take care of our heart.
We can, however, be more conscious when preparing for and existing within a relationship. Conscious dating means observing, staying curious, open and non-judgmental (especially towards yourself). Dating, as opposed to a long term relationship, is an ideal format to mature and learn more about your own boundaries, idiosyncrasies, and how to appreciate the vulnerability of others.
It is difficult, however, to harness all this rich psychological growth when you are too lonely. Dating can challenging, disappointing and boring, punctuated with high spikes of excitement. Working together we can bolster your stamina, clarity and vulnerability, and help you choose better, all elements needed to thrive.